No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
smell my finger.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
