No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
