Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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