i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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