even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
