in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
