In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
