too bad you live with your parents still
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
