The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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