matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Houston, we have a blender
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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