Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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