I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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