On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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