Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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