you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
