Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
