Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
