i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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