I only kidnapped one of them. chill
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
