Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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