One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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