Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize