I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
