do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
