the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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