What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
