Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
