I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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