so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
