I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
