So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
