Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize