He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
