My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
