I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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