just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
wow bdsm is so cute
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
