I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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