before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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