im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
