i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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