don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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