"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
