Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Your tits are I can't wait for
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
