Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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