I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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