i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
