I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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