Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
