Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
