If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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