are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
