absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
