When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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