we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Couch. On fire.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
