be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
