Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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