is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
