I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
